I wasn’t going to ever write this blog. I have gone back and forth for four months debating whether or not it was actually a good idea. I remember when I was pregnant I LOVED reading birth stories. I just knew that mine would be just as magical and giving birth would be a breeze. After all, I had a great pregnancy without any complications. To me this was a huge indicator that everything was going to be smooth sailing. I was wrong. Which is why I decided in the end to put my story out there. To let those moms who didn’t have the birth they imagined know they aren’t alone. I also wanted moms to go into the hospital aware, and not scared to speak up for themselves when they KNOW something is wrong. A lot of this story is gross and TMI ( duh it’s about child birth. Proceed with caution) SO without further ADO…..
My due date was on Thursday, November 22. The day came and went and I didn’t go into labor. On Monday morning I had a scheduled appointment with my ob/gyn. At my appointment, she checked to see if I was dilated at all and wasn’t! I did however lose my mucous plug earlier that day, so labor was imminent. She told me to go home, make sure my bags were packed, and she was going to induce me on Wednesday. For all of you who don’t know me, my mom is my best friend and was there for me every step of my pregnancy. She was with me that day at my appointment. After the appointment was over she suggested I walk around to try to get the baby to come on his own. So naturally we went to the mall to go shopping! We walked around for about an hour and then got back to the car. I lifted up my leg to get in and felt a gush of liquid rush out. I just stood there in shock until my mom yells, “ YOUR WATER BROKE!!”
At this point I still wasn’t afraid. I called Ryan and told him my water broke and to get our bags ready. We headed to the hospital at about 6 p.m. Before we got there and I asked to get something to eat before. I knew they wouldn’t let you eat once you were admitted and I was starving. As I waited for our food I put make-up on. I thought this was all going to be over very soon and very quickly. I wanted to look good in our photos. Well, what a waste of time and make-up. Trust me looking good is not on your list when those labor contractions kick into full force. We got admitted to triage and a nurse who we shall call “Sarah” was the one assisting us. I could tell Sarah knew what she was doing and I immediately trusted her. The first thing they do is check you to see if you're dilated. Being checked for dilation HURTS. They stick their entire hand inside you and poke around your cervix. They also do it every hour, so if you hate it you’re in for a real treat in the hospital.
I wasn’t dilated so they monitored the baby, told me my water didn't break, and I had to go home until my contractions were 4 minutes apart. Apparently when you are as pregnant as me you just pee yourself all the time and it can be mistaken for your water breaking haha. At this point I was having some pretty brutal contractions and I was surprised they didn’t keep me. We went home about 9 p.m. and I tried to wait it out. I took a bath, I bounced on my birthing ball, and the contractions continued to get worse. At about midnight I woke Ryan up and told him I couldn’t take it anymore and we had to go back to the hospital. This time I was dilated (Woo! More hands up my vagina to see!) and they admitted me into my birthing room.
At this point the contractions were INSANE. Seriously. I can’t describe the feeling. It’s almost like your body is tearing apart very slowly, your stomach is as hard as a rock, it’s so intense you can’t speak, and just when you have relief it starts over again. Once I was in my birthing suite they started me on pitocin which is a labor inducing drug. It helps speed up the birthing process. It also makes your contractions more intense. I squeezed my mom and Ryan’s hands to death. I also began to get sick. Those chicken fingers I ate a couple hours before were deposited into a barf bag because the pain was so intense. At about 7 a.m. we got a new nurse and we will call her “Joy.” Joy also had a ton of experience and I am so thankful for her. She ended up being the only labor and delivery nurse who actually knew what she was doing.
The next 24 hours were just a waiting game for us. It’s now Tuesday morning and I still had no signs of going into labor. I was only dilated 2 cm and I just had to wait until my body opened up. Later on at about 4 p.m. I was checked again and I had dilated to 4 cm. When I thought about birth during my pregnancy I was scared of one thing. Needles. I dreaded getting my IV and I dreaded the epidural. BOTH of these things ended up being the easiest part! Once I reached 4 cm my doctor approved for me to get the epidural. The anesthesiologist came in and I recognized him for my job. What a small world. I faced Ryan while it got administered and I truly didn’t feel any pain. I just felt like someone had put ice down my spine and ten minutes later I felt like I could do back handsprings. The drugs they give you in the hospital are intense. You’re seriously higher than 18 kites and they are trusting you to hold a baby after! What!
After the epidural at 6 p.m. they told me I should have a baby in my arms by midnight. This is where everything goes to shit. My doctor got called home to an emergency. Joy, our amazing nurse, was off shift. We got a different nurse and I guess I’ll call her “Helga.” Now I know everything that went wrong is not Helga’s fault. I’m just saying some people shouldn’t be nurses and some nurses should probably constantly be supervised. This girl was both. My water had just broke and she told me from the looks of it the baby had pooped in the womb. This is very dangerous for the baby and could lead to a lot of further complications. I didn’t know this. She just stated it to me as a fact and never acknowledged it again.
Around 9 p.m. she came to check me and told me I had a fever. I asked if there was something I could take. She told me no. You cannot have antibiotics until 12 hours after your water breaks. Fair enough. I tried to get some rest to forget about it. The next hour she came in again. She once again acknowledged I had a fever, but she didn’t do anything about it. I was also getting sick and throwing up again. Ryan, spoke up for me after seeing me decline for hours. He told the nurse she needed to do something about my fever because I wasn’t ok. She came back with two Tylenol and a nausea pill. After that she placed cold rags on my forehead as well. At 11 p.m. she checked me and told me I was 9 cm. The more experienced nurse Sarah checked me and said I was only 7 cm. At midnight the same thing happened. Helga told me I was 9 cm. Sarah said I was 8 cm. At this point my mom, Ryan and I both asked Helga if she could call a doctor or have the more experienced nurse come in. Instead of doing one or the other she argued with us!
Now, I can be a real bitch, but I figured the best case scenario was to keep being nice to these people. After all they kind of held my life and my sons life in their hands. I wish I would have been a bitch. When we asked for a doctor the first time, the nurse argued with us for ten minutes and couldn’t understand why we wanted any other opinion but hers. Later on we found out this chick had just passed her orientation and had been a nurse for five minutes. So yeah. She should have just called the doctor because she had NO idea what she was doing. Eventually she left and got Sarah after claiming she was on her “lunch break” and unavailable. By the way, the doctor still wasn’t called. Sarah showed up and told me it was time to push. At this point Helga wanted nothing to do with us and told us I would be pushing for three hours because I was a first time mom. She sat on the end of the bed and had the audacity to have an attitude.
This is when my mom started to lose it. She told her that I was exhausted and she has had five children and NEVER pushed for three hours. I knew I couldn’t push that long either. I wanted to know I could have a c-section if he didn’t come after an hour. We asked for a doctor again, just to be told no a second time. She explained the doctor doesn’t come in until the baby is ready to come out. Sarah reenforced this and said they don’t call the doctor unless there is a problem. We later found out this wasn’t true. When I started to push Helga sat at the end of the bed and didn’t say a word. It was her and one other nurse from the ER who came in because they were “short-handed.” Helga told Ryan to watch the monitor and let her know when I was having a contraction. Ryan told her, “I’m not here to do your job. I don’t know what the hell that thing says.'“ ( Gosh I love him.) She was so angry at us for losing faith in her (because she had no idea what she was doing) that she just gave up and wasn’t even doing her job.
I pushed for an hour before I knew something was wrong. I was deathly afraid and throughout the whole 30 hours I had been there this was the first time I cried. Ryan was holding my hand just as stressed and afraid. The nurse Helga wasn’t helping at all. At that point I wanted her out. She was rubbing my vaginal area doing god knows what but had one finger literally in my butt. I sat up and told her, “Can you please get your fingers out of my ass.” Instead of helping us and watching the monitor that was seriously was she was doing. I can’t make this up. Then my mom told me she was leaving the room to go get a doctor. She confronted the nurse and told her if she didn’t get us some from the doctor she would find the doctor herself. Sarah agreed to call the midwife (more on that later). When my mom came back she was holding my hand and told me we needed to pray. I had never been so scared in my life. I didn’t think I was going to make it out of there.
Tanner was on one side of my stomach and wouldn’t move. They flipped me on my side to try to get him to rotate down. As soon as this happened I felt an excruciating pain in my whole body. It felt so unnatural and I told the nurse I just couldn’t do it. Her solution was to flip me to other side. The pain was WORSE and that was when my heart rate tanked and so did Tanner’s. I felt like every alarm in the place was going off and in rushed the doctor we had been asking for all night. He immediately asked why I wasn’t on my back, flipped me over, and had me push. He told me the baby would never descend on his own and I had to have an emergency c-section. I almost cried tears of joy! You know the pain is terrible when you are like '“YES, PLEASE CUT ME OPEN AND GET THE BABY OUT!!!” Before I knew what was happening they were prepping me for the OR. Ryan was getting scrubs. My hair was being tied back. My mom was helping get my jewelry off. They were wheeling me away and I could see how scared she was. She had tears in her eyes and wouldn’t let go of my hand.
I started to get scared again. My mom is the strongest woman I know. I had never seen her scared. I realized I had to be in a lot of trouble.I was shaking the whole time they prepped me. They strap you down to a table and put a sheet up so you can’t see anything. I got more meds and Ryan was let into the operating room. Before I knew it I could feel a lot of pressure. It felt like someone was yanking my body from side to side. Then I heard Tanner cry. I burst into tears. It was finally over and I had a baby. Ryan got to cut the cord and hold him first. He brought him over to me and everything they tell you about being in love instantly is true. I have never been so in love. They cleaned up the baby and Ryan wheeled him back into the room while I got sewn up. The two nurses involved in my delivery Sarah and Helga didn’t say a word the entire c-section. After it was over I never saw them again and I was so thankful.
When they wheeled me back my mom kissed and hugged me and told me it had only been 30 minutes! Tanner was out in about 15 minutes flat from when they left the room. Ryan was with the baby and I knew immediately he was going to be the best dad. The next day, my doctor called me and told me the rumor was I had a horrible delivery. I told her that was an understatement and she told me that when they called the midwife, the midwife instructed them to call the doctor because she didn’t think she could help me. We were never told this. We were just denied a doctor and told the midwife was not coming Later that day Tanner went to the NICU. They suspected he was sick from the meconium he swallowed in the womb. After he was there for a couple days they thought he had a blockage. Which luckily cleared on its own and he never needed surgery. After six days in the hospital I was discharged and had to go home without my baby.
I was heartbroken. It wasn’t how I imagined my experience. I left without my baby and I cried myself to sleep that entire night. Two days later he was able to come home with us. That week was the most joyous/traumatic I had ever experienced. The labor, the delivery, and leaving my baby with strangers while he was hooked up to a machine was the worst. When we got to bring him home I didn’t put him down. I held him 24/7. I never want him to be away from me again and I can’t help but wonder if we had a nurse with experience if this would have happened.
Four months later and I can say I am still pretty shook up. It has changed my perspective on wanting future children. My mom and I wrote a formal complaint to the hospital. They sent me a certified letter saying “Sorry.” I’ll never step foot in there again, and I urge all women to stand up for themselves in this situation. Don’t be afraid to tell these people you want help. I had my mom and Ryan fighting for me and I’m so thankful I did because I don’t know what would have happened if I didn’t. Tanner is now healthy and thriving. I thank God everyday for that.
